To be honest, there are a lot of gluten free baked goods out there that are awful. Straight up horrible. At some point along the way in this gluten free craze, manufacturers decided that it doesn’t matter if gluten free food products weigh 10 pounds, cause horrible gastric distress and taste like eating a heavily used cardboard box. The worst offender: gluten free bagels.
Gluten free bagels have a texture that feels an awful lot like trying to chew through a fleece blanket. Even if you toast them (why the frack wouldn’t you toast them), the texture issue is not resolved or even slightly better.
Once you choke down this faux-bagel wad, you now have 18 hours of gastric misery to look forward to. It will sit dead center of your intestinal track stirring up a gassy ruckus on both sides of its obstructiveness and make you feel like eating the wheat you’re allergic to was a better choice.
This all translates into the saddest loss to the gluten and wheat sensitive/allergic peeps of the world: the everything bagel is nothing now. Toss one in the bin for your homies. It’s a tragic loss.
That’s where the inspiration for this recipe came from. Named after my dear friend who truly feels the deep pain of the nothing bagel conundrum abyss. I created this very recipe so she, and everyone else, could enjoy a gluten free everything bagel morning.
1 Head Cauliflower
2 Eggs – 1 for the egg white only
1½ TBS Grapeseed Oil, Divided
½ Small Onion, Finely Chopped
2 Cloves Garlic, Finely Chopped/Minced
½ Cup Raw, Shelled Pumpkin Seeds
1 Tsp Poppy Seeds
1 Tsp Sesame Seeds
1 Tsp Parsley
½ Tsp Coriander
Absolutely amazing if you top several bites with chopped tomatoes and an over medium egg. Premium!
If you’re looking to take this recipe to the next level (and if you eat dairy), sprinkle some sharp aged cheese, such as Asiago on top of dough prior to adding seed and spice blend. When purchasing the cheese make sure the sodium content is reasonable, the cheese is organic and that it is free of harmful/ridiculous food additives such as maltodextrin or cellulose.
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